98 degrees boy, why did you have to go all homophobic on your ass? (....or, reflections on my alarmingly increasing consumption of reality t.v. shows)

last night was the finale of Dancing with the Stars. So we settled down to watch, once again slightly flabbergasted by the fact that we effing love this show.

i won't bore you with a whole rundown of the night, but suffice it to say there are three competitors left:

some former wrestling chick, who was built like an amazon in first few episodes, but who now has normal sized shoulders and is pretty amazing actually. jerry rice, who apparently is some former nfl player, and who sucks big ones, but has a fricking massive fan-base who vote for him out of pure love. and mr 98 degrees, mr ex-jessica simpson's brother, drew lachey.

bite-sized drew lachey is clearly the most talented. he was burning up that stage. a pasa doble (sp?) to thriller (with cheeky zombie-move tributes thrown in). how daring! how entertaining! i am eating that shit UP! THEN, after a very lacklustre and tame performance by wrestler lady in the much anticipated free-form dance, drew and his laaady get to really show us what they are made of.

i can't do justice to what they pulled off last night, but let's say, as someone with complete aversion to anything nashville, i was, for a short period, "a little bit country." little drew--in chaps, ten gallon hat, and a cutsey little fringed waistcoat, ridin' and grindin' that partner of his. her ridin' and grindin' him like there was no tomorrow.

so, of course, we just know that the judges are going to love them up too. and they do.

and then drew does something that makes me go right the fuck off him.

bruno tonioli, "dancer, choreographer, who cannot suppress his natural italian exuberance" is just wild with excitement: "drew! eef they evah do a muzical of brokeback mountaaain, then you must suuurely play de lead"

crowd roars, and drew pulls a "eewwww" face, and the turns around and covers his tiny butt with his ten-gallon hat and goofs off for the crowd.

[the old man: "i think he might have just lost some votes there"
me: "sadly, i think he might just have earned some"]

so now, and I never thought i would utter these words,

GO JERRY!!!!!!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Yeah, I was quite put off by that, too. It was such a great dance and performance and I was totally with him until the hat covering his butt move. I guess they didn't air it on the West Coast and they have 'no comment' on it.