3.07.2008

I Blame Coldplay

Hello! Remember me? I used to be a blogger who posted upwards of 3-4 times per month?!


(insert apologetic rambling stuff riddled with excuses about not posting here...)

Good. Now that's out of the way, let's blog baby!

Now, where was I? Ah, yes. 'I blame Coldplay.'

Actually, maybe it's Kate Bush's fault. It was with Kate Bush that I discovered a great new game I could play all by myself at 11 years old. A game called 'let's pretend you're in a 'Music Video.''

Here's how you play-- whatever you are doing, be it walking down to the corner shop, sitting in the backseat of your parents' car, sulking in your bedroom, pretend that you are in fact in a 'Music Video.' You will need some background music for this, preferably Kate Bush's 'The Man with A Child in His Eyes' but Human League's 'Don't You Want Me Baby' will serve you equally well -- especially if you are tonging your hair.

If you prefer to go with a 'live' performance then a hairbrush is a must-have (naturally) and I would recommend the privacy of your own bedroom, where you can play 'your music' on a 'record player.' If you are taking this to the streets, then a Sony Walkman to play your 'cassette tape recordings' is required.

Once you have these items in place, you have a great deal of creative flexibility as to how you perform in your 'video.' With Kate Bush you might like to gyrate wildly but very, very dramatically around your room -- especially if that song is Wuthering Heights (Heathcliffe! it's me, your Cathy, I've come ho-o-o-o-me. It's me in your windo-o-o-w). But take care with the lyrics -- they are seriously deep and need to be intoned (or mouthed if you prefer) with the appropriate expression of mysterious and yet penetrating angst.

If you are making your video in public, then a certain level of discretion and a good deal of imagination is required. Yes, to an onlooker you might well look like some pimply-faced teen slumping down the street with a pair of head-phones on, but little do they know that a camera is on you and the end result will be a highly produced (quite possibly black and white) montage sequence: 'disaffected working class girl walks through scene of urban blight.' That's you missy, and guess what, you're in the new Smiths video!

I wish I could say that I have grown out of this adolescent game, but every so often an instance avails itself where I just can't help myself. Coldplay on the iPod while I commute is a surefire trigger. One minute I'm charging through the ticket gates to only just catch my train (again) and the next minute I am deep in the reverie of 'Warning Sign' (When the truth is,
I miss you. Yeah the truth is, That I miss you so) . Lights. Camera. Action. And I'm ON.

Add to that an email that appears on your PDA from a dear friend Back Home who tells you of a dream where you appeared back in Michigan...

"When I went to hug Joy, she said I shouldn't get near her because she had some kind of communicable disease.... Then, when we put Jack and J___ [our sons] together, and thought they'd be excited to see each other again, they didn't even really remember each other. I felt very sad in the dream, thinking that they were forgetting each other."


Add that and suddenly you're a blubbering mess on the train, and so the only way to stop your fellow passengers noticing your outpouring is to retreat inside your head and be in the Coldplay video about Loss. Channel that sorrow into a brilliant performance that your adolescent self would have truly envied.

(I miss you too A. Horribly. And everyone there. But, uh, 'communicable disease'??)

26 comments:

Mad Hatter said...

Kate Bush, eh? You have quite the imaginative vocal range. My inner scale won't let my do much more than Pat Benetar, I'm afraid. Still, there's avenues for feisty anger in all that, isn't there?

Glad you're still here even though I've been away.

Sally said...

Oh man. Now I have to go buy a Kate Bush CD. I used to listen to my Dad's cassette over and over and over. I'd totally forgotten about it. Thanks for mentioning it.

flutter said...

is this one at all related to 'Pretend you're a rockstar in your car"? because I am totally well versed on that one....

Mom101 said...

Oh thank you thank you a million times over for not making me feel like I'm the only woman over 16 who still does this.

The only woman over (16x2)+8

Missing you...

Marmite Breath said...

OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODDDDDD!!! I do this all the time!! I rememember writing to my sister a couple of years ago and telling her that the Keane CD I was sending her was perfect for pretending that you are in a music video and you are playing the role of "Shop Girl in Newsagents Who Is Object of Heartbreakingly Gorgeous Lad's Affection"

Get the Keane CD out, Joy. Or Dido, Dido works SO well for this game.

Eleanor said...

Even more fun than having your own music video is walking in on somebody during their video - seeing their mouth stop moving [pause] then drop. Then watching them work out how to pretend they weren't in fact in a music video thankyouverymuch. Even though we all do it. And we all know how much fun it is!

slouching mom said...

When you come back, you come back with a VENGEANCE.

Great post. I still know the words to Wuthering Heights by heart.

How the hell are you?

AliBlahBlah said...

I sometimes imagine someone's making a documentary of my life.

Probably because I'm a sad narcissistic cow.

Really though, it helps to pass the time and stops me hitting my child.

(not really).

Ozma said...

I just love the title as well as the idea of just throwing around blame hither and yon.

Why can't I lose weight these days? I blame Lou Reed.

Christine said...

Oh,I still play this game all the time, too. I've even at times incorporated my kids in the act. They think I'm a cool mommie...little do they know they are my groupies.

Glad to see you back!

Jozet at Halushki said...

Oh, I adore Kate Bush. That entire Hounds of Love album...oh the concerts I still perform in my kitchen on a rainy day. It scares the baby.

Sandra said...

Oh thank god you wrote this. Seriously.

I sometimes get so caught up in my adolescent game that I'll belt a few lines OUT LOUD and I'm just lucky I haven't yet been hauled away in a straight jacket.

Liza said...

My favorite version of that game is when you're singing in your car, along with something on the radio, and you see someone else in another car who is obviously singing the same song.

moosh in indy. said...

Didn't you know my car is a production studio that is the smash hit of my life?
Right now I'm in a Jazz video as the mysterious woman in the coffee shop blogging in the corner. The cute boy over there doesn't know this however.

mothergoosemouse said...

Thank god I'm not the only one who plays that narcissistic game.

Not that you're a narcissist. I...uh...didn't mean THAT.

Never mind.

Anonymous said...

Who knows where to download XRumer 5.0 Palladium?
Help, please. All recommend this program to effectively advertise on the Internet, this is the best program!

search engine placement said...

These is really one of the great information which you can share over here. If you are making your video in public, then a certain level of discretion and a good deal of imagination is required.

business logos said...

In all these there are so many things which is really very advance. Once you have these items in place, you have a great deal of creative flexibility as to how you perform in your 'video.

seo companies said...

These all information which you can share is really very great. Once you have these items in place, you have a great deal of creative flexibility as to how you perform in your 'video.

learn spanish language said...

These all information for video which you can share is really very great. If you are making your video in public, then a certain level of discretion and a good deal of imagination is required.

seo companies said...

If you are making your video in public, then a certain level of discretion and a good deal of imagination is required. In all these there are so many things which is good.

Dog crates said...

If you are making your video in public, then a certain level of discretion and a good deal of imagination is required.

lax airport hotels said...

These post is really very great. If you are taking this to the streets, then a Sony Walkman to play your 'cassette tape recordings' is required.

anthony morrison said...

Then watching them work out how to pretend they weren't in fact in a music video.

blog commenting service said...

These all are watching to pretend that can be desire so many things which is good to know about it.

vistaprint coupon codes said...

These is of the great information which you can share over here. In case you are making your video in public, then a sure level of discretion & a great deal of imagination is necessary.