One of Those List Posts Written Under the Influence (and yes, this is About The Move)

Two expedited U.S. passports for your lovely boys (so they can Leave and Re-enter the Country Legally): $288

Two British Passports for your lovely boys (so that they can actually Live in England Legally): $350

One Spousal Visa for Spousal Unit Who is Totally Spousal and so Really Should be Legal too: $1050

Various photos from Kinkos for various visas and passports ("can we suggest JC Penney's for the infant photo, we really don't specialize in those...well. If you insist."): $55

Air Tickets for family of 4 (one on lap): $2,000

"Cargo" Ticket for Doggie (who had better effing know how effing lucky her stinking ass is): $1,500

Vet bills for above dog to get her certified rabies free...: who the fuck knows????

Realtor Fees for Realtor who might be able to sell the house, maybe for this price: $Fucking shitloads

Shipping life's possessions because it's actually cheaper than buying all new at some UK based IKEA: $2,000-$5,000

Deposit and first month's rent on accommodation in UK as of yet to be secured. $Also shitloads.

5 quarts of Mrs Butterworth's Syrup I realize today we had better buy as they sure as shit do not have that in the UK. Oh and I had better buy some Monistat while I'm at it, as you need a prescription (and exam) to get it there: $let's say $150

Mental power tallying as of yet unthought of costs that will surely surely cost millions...: Who knows?


(and also learning that where you are moving to currently has air tickets to Dublin for 49p ($1)



slouching mom said...

Heh. I love it when you blog while tipsy.

flutter said...

you slightly shitfaced is pretty fabulous. Can I come visit in the UK?

mothergoosemouse said...

A DOLLAR? To get to Dublin?

Yeah. You'd better find a place with a spare bedroom. Or else I'll camp out in the back.

Lena said...

I am SO glad to see that you have your priorities straight. MRS. BUTTERWORTHS! Hahahaaaa!

You are still going to Blogher, right?? Don't make me drink aloooone.

Anonymous said...

HOW MUCH? That's the price of England, baby!! (But you'll make all the money back in savings when you shop at Primark - clothes for under a fiver - and Asda)

To add to that, when I told me mam you were moving home, she said 'ooh, I hope Joy knows that she probably won't be able to buy the same size of house here that she's used to on the same budget.' I love you mum, but NO SHIT SHERLOCK!

karrie said...

Yes, Monistat may be in order of you start slinging back the Butterworth's.

How long did the expedited passports take? You obviously have a better reason than I do, but when I mentioned expediting my son's, I was told that Passport services was so far behind that they were advising people not to bother.

Karen said...

My British in-laws could start a small business with all the stuff the truck from one side of the atlantic to the other for whichever part of th e family can't get what wherever. I'm glad they work out and can carry lots....

sween said...

Isn't it nice to know that you are worth 1/3 of a dog?

H/K said...

I envy you like you don't know! I recently had to return from the UK and would love to be able to move back. Also, just a tiny hint about the Monistat--you should be able to get it over the counter. AND you can get Diflucan over the counter too! It's about 20.00GBP at any Boots.

gingajoy said...

Folks. I am sure there will be a small linen cupboard for guests to board in, so drop on by;-)

Karrie--that is interesting to know. It is giving me serious insomnia, but I am thinking that we might need to just get an appointment to do the passports in Chicago. Not too big a deal, but I'd rather not (sigh...)

H/K Thanks for the tip on the "itch" cream;-) My, how things have changed.

Eleanor. I am looking at rentals in Didsbury now, and though very quaint they be effing teeny. Such is the price of the love of one's country;-)
Sween. Do NOT get me started about the fricking dog.

Lawyer Mama said...

Blogging while drinking is entertaining!

Holy crap I cannot believe the dog costs 3 times more than a person to ship!!!

Mimi said...

God I hate moving. That's not much help, eh?

Mrs Butterworths? Are you serious? You Yanks (this makes you a Yank now, officially) and your 'table syrup'. It's maple syrup or nothing, baby. I will SEND you some to make my point. Just as soon as you secure lodging and pay your outrageous deposit, you send me your address and some syrup is on its way. Table syrup. Blech. :-)

Mary G said...

Way to go Mimi. Maple, Joy, maple! I have shipped quantities to the UK. My daughter has hopped the pond twice in both directions. Never with a dog, however. Holy Cow!
Passport horror stories are proliferating, here and in the US of A. Better check. Like voting, early and often.
You will do it, dog and all, and will not end up in a broom closet. We have faith in you, in Kismet, whatever.

Jozet said...


I'm so envious!

First of all ENGLAND!

Second of all, $1 to Dublin!

You better look for a house with a big backyard because it sounds like I'm not the only one planning to kip at your house.


gingajoy said...

Mimi and Mary, I am completely unabashed avout my love of butter-flavored fake syrup. I OWN it, ladies. I have partaken of the finest of maple syrups, and I must say my reaction is always "nice. but i like the fake buttery stuff better." (eh?)


Redneck Mommy said...

Shitfaced Joy.

I likey.

Looking forward to the real deal in a few weeks.

Especially if you talk in a sexy accent and talk dirty to me. Oh, the dreams I'll have ....

Bobita~ said...

That picture of the Irish Whiskey is ART. Seriously, I might have to download that baby, enlarge it, frame it and hang it on my dining room wall. It is downright lovely.

Godspeed to you!

Her Bad Mother said...

I will ship you Mrs. Butterworths, if you promise that I can come visit you.

(Am also shit-face, RIGHT THIS MINUTE)

Fairly Odd Mother said...

I think I'd need to drink too if I had to think about all that money! You know, if you all had to ride in cargo with your dog, I think your plane tickets would be higher than they are now!

I'm so jealous about all the cheap European flight stuff you'll soon be able to get. Is MGM right that it is $1 to Dublin??!?!

NotSoSage said...

Just catching up on all your news! Can I come visit when next I'm in Lancaster to visit long-lost relatives?

Don't you enjoy returning to a country where the thought of a two hour drive is a long haul?

And Zed is for Zebra, isn't it?

'Nuff with the questions, already...sorry, I'll let you sober up.

WhyMommy said...

Ack! I was worried about you ... until the last one. Awesome.

Marmite Breath said...

Hope yer sober by now, Joy. The passport thing I've just been through. It took ages, even expedited, BUT, we did get it in time.

What's wrong with lemon juice and sugar for your pancakes, eh??

Mom101 said...

St least you'l be earning ONE SCHMILLION POUNDS a year.

Give or take.

krymorg said...

Hi Joy;

Thanks for taking the time to read about the benefits of a nice cup of tea!

You really couldn't have chosen a better time to move back to manchester. If you haven't visited in the last few years you're not going to believe the changes!

It might be worth you checking out some other Manchester blogs to get a flavour of the place right now. I'd start here;


Drop me a line if you want any questions answering!