And Now We Move On to the Abject Fear Portion of Our Trip...

It's been less than ten days since we realized we'd be moving to Manchester, and it feels like a lifetime. Husband and I go through similar cycles over the whole thing, though not necessarily in synchroncity.

It goes something like this:

Euphoria --> Anxiety ----> STRESS -----> o.ooo2 seconds of calm ------>Abject Fear....

Part of our problem here is having so little time to process all of this. While I know that all will be fine in the end, there are so many variables in this whole thing, that it's very very difficult to switch the brain off. Hence the whisky (wine vodka, beer, anything-will-do-really-just-pour-the-damn-thing) drinking. I would stop and consider whether this is becoming a potential problem, but who has time to ponder one's potential alcoholism when one has so much to do?

Same logic goes for "watching one's figure." At one stage late last week, I had this sudden thought "my GOD! I am hardly eating a thing, and seem to be bouncing around on nervous energy! I MUST be losing WADS of weight." I then made that familiar yet fatal error. I reached into the closet (wardrobe) for the "When I am less squidgy" jeans which surely, surely, will be hanging off me now.

Yep. You know the drill. I pull on said jean, and find that while they can be zipped up, the spillage factor ocurring above *the jean was less "muffin top" and more **"industrial waste."

And so I reflected upon my so-called "lack of eating" over the last few days, and realized that this was actually "lack of paying any kind of attention to what I am cramming in my mouth because "who gives a shit?" and how much longer do I have to enjoy twizzlers anyway?" And, of course, the booze helps loads in retaining that girlish figYURE.

Anway. Back to the Abject Fear part of this post. The fear that is plaguing me and Mr Ginga right now concerns The Boys. My eldest will be starting school for the first time in September, and I have no clue where he will be going. To get into a school, we need an address. To get an address, we kinda need to be in the country. (Apparently it helps). And there's no guarantee that he'll get into a good school, because all the places are likely to be gone at those. (and by "good school" I mean those where learning actually takes place and the kids actually like school enough to stick around...)

Suddenly, overperforming parents who dilligently went to all kind of kindergarten roundups in January, and had his place carefully picked out and signed up for in February--a place that would nurture his creativity, and provide a nourishing environment where his desire to learn would thrive, blah blah blah---well suddenly we're gaping down the jaws of the Great Unknown, which is fine when it comes to us grownups, but what are we doing to our childrens??

I'm just thankful as all hell that is he only a malleable and good-natured 4 (nearly 5) and not 12 or something, as this would be merry fucking hell with a preteen or teenager...

It'll be all right, it'll be all right, it'll be all right....

It will.

*notice my use of singular for "jean." I have picked this habit up from Stacey from "What Not to Wear." What's with that usage, lady? I hate it, and yet I cannot help but absorb your fashio-savvy lexicon....

**As a feminist, I hate submitting to the "I'm such a fat girl, waaaaah" post impulse. But as a female product of this culture, I cannot help it.

p.s. why does blogger keep putting huge spaces in my posts. me no likey.


Marmite Breath said...

Why am I first? It makes me feel all stalkery. But Google told me I had a fresh Gingajoy post, so here I am.

Everything will be okay, Joy. I'm fascinated by the whole thing because you're doing what I dream of doing all the time. I mean, we move all over the place, but the Navy moves us. It would be so hard to do it without.

We did do it without, of course, when I was a teenager, and the pressure on my parents was unbelieveable, but I think you've already discovered the cure for that sort of stress....alcohol.

I always submit to the "waaah, I'm such a fat girl" thing, but oh well.

I feel like shit so I'm going to lay down again. I just missed my computer.

DD said...

Stacey? Why the heck would you listen to any woman who advocates the skinny jean(s)???!

I think Stress needs to come with its own nutritional label: 3,400 calories per serving (500 servings per day) b/c the poundage? It loves me when I am stressed.

doow said...

I was just thinking about you. And not just because I wanted to try and outdo marmite breath in terms of stalkerdom. In fact! I was also talking about you earlier with my ma and pa - about "ooh, Gingajoy is going to be here soon".
Would you like help packing? I'm no good at it, but I could lend you my Mum ... Perhaps I could just join in with the drinking.

flutter said...

I have started to say "a pant" because of her. I love her, skinny little thing that she is.

I am so excited for you, kinda wish I could stow away in your luggage.

slouching mom said...

Oh, it's good to hear from you, to know that you have not yet been driven to drink.

Oh, wait, you have been driven to drink.

It'll all fall into place, it always does, only it's going to take a while, that's all.

Come September, your child will not be at home all day twiddling his fingers (playing GameCube or Wii). Sadly for him, it just doesn't work that way.

Lindyloo said...

It'll be OK!! Girlish figure be damned once you get over here and realize the food is crap the pounds will drop off!! As for schools- I'm still hoping he'll be attending Cavendish Primary!! *grin* Now THAT sounds a bit stalkish!!

gingajoy said...

marmite. i heart you. is it stalking when the feeling reciprocated? (and that goes for you too, doow and lindyloo, my UK comrades).

Lindy--I am getting on the phone to Cavendish tomorrow. Serious.

Also, though UK food might be crap to the American, remember, I crave fish and chips like the yank craves a nice bit of velveeta. It's all shit, but it's about *identity* man;-)

Mrs. Davis said...

Yes, the kindergarten stuff is stressful. We were "almost" moving the spring/summer before our oldest started, and I was a wreck.

I'm with you on the eating and drinking these days. Staying up late packing, having a cocktail or two....eating too much convenience food during the day. Oy.

I also say "jean" and "pant" -- my husband mocks me.

Fairly Odd Mother said...

Lately, I've been stressed about everything; given that nothing major is happening in my life, I can only imagine what would happen if I REALLY had something to stress about!

Hang in there. Don't worry about kindergarten---is it even mandatory? (it isn't here in Mass.). I think that as long as you finger paint and learn the alphabet, you'll keep him up to speed with his peers.

Tere said...

Wait a sec - they don't have Twizzlers in the U.K.??? What kind of godforsaken place is that??


ali said...

jean. bwah!

shit...now i'm totally going to start saying it...because i can't. get. it. out. of. my. head.

Jenny said...

Oooh! I'll be in Manchester for a conference in Semptember! It will be my first time in England. What a small world. Of course, I'm not moving there nor have I been offered a position at the university, so perhaps its not THAT small a world. But I have considered a drink or two over finalizing the paper I'm presenting!!! So, you know, there ARE some things in common in this situation. :)

Congrats and good luck

Her Bad Mother said...

You have to go into html edit to take out those spaces. I know. Sucks almost as bad as muffin tops and parental anxiety.


I promise. And if that promise don't come true, I owe you a big fat whisky or ten.)

Redneck Mommy said...

All will be well with the move. Wait and see.

As for the muffin top, well darling, have I told you how much I like muffins?

(Said leeringly...)

Okay...that skeeved me out...Too far!! LOL!

I'm sure you look fabulous. If not, I'll be too drunk to notice!

virtualredhead said...

Gah! All you people are being quite clever and supportive and stuff. All I can say, as a real-world neighbor, is I almost cried when I saw the for sale sign in your yard.

And that I desperately wish I could drink with you. I'm not enjoying sobriety.

Vince said...

Don't worry you'll love Manchester and if you dont you can always add Boddingtons to the list of alcohol to consume

Ozma said...

It's going to work out but you are still brave. This is not something most people have the guts for.

I know it's going to be good for your kids too! Can your mom and dad go looking around for a school? Isn't England really teeny-tiny? Like the size of a small amusement park? So it would be easy for them to just wander about the moors or wherever and find a likely schoolhouse, right?

thailandchani said...

The weight thing.. I kind of understand. Every now and then, my perception shifts and I believe some weight is gone that is.. um.. clearly... not. :) It's always such a disappointment.

And, by the way, I'm not doing the cultural "I'm so fat" thing. I am... overweight.. by 50 pounds or so... I have a way to go. LOL



Mary G said...

Here's me pouring you a virtual stiff one.
You can keep a kid out of school for six months or a year without entirely ruining his life. I did, and said kid is now a PhD and quite well adjusted, honest. This will cost you big bucks for child minding, alas, but *will* work if you want to wait and vet the schools when you get there.
Want the other half of that?
With a hug?

Lawyer Mama said...

Jean. I just realized that I've begun saying that too. Damn Stacey. Damn her.

And I have to say, in defense of all Yanks, I have never voluntarily eaten Velveeta.