But Actually, I am the Quintessential Ugly American...

And I've now got the minivan to prove it (Yes. Did It).

We went off to "just look" on Saturday morning. Two boys, no snacks, and "No! No I haven't got any toys in my handbag. NO! Here. Play with this key chain. Look. Eat those cheetos from the floor"

We come back nearly three hours later with a Toyota Sienna, a four year old who was nearly climbing the walls from boredom, and a Fat Chunk of New Debt. Yay! (it does get good gas mileage. relatively speaking. honest.)

I tend to handle "negotiations" in these situations. i.e. I barter. I have no shame or sense of dignity (unlike my Husband, who did manage to stop me from letting them add all sorts of "fabric, paint, and whatever "proofing' to the thing in my frenzy to BUY BUY BUY).

Here's how the "brokering" went:

Teenage Car Salesman: "If we factor in the blah blah rebate, and the blah blah interest rate, we're looking at [Insert obscene amount of $$$$$ here]"

Me: "Really. OK. Well let me just be upfront with you. Tell it to you straight. Let's not mess around here. We have a limit. If you can make that figure [Insert obsene amount of $$$$, less $5,000. Aim low, right?] we are ready to make a deal today

Teenage Car Salesman: (sits at his desk and makes show of using calculator and "checking figures." I am not fooled in the least. I'm going to hold my ground). "I think we can do that...."


Me: "Wha?" (thinks: FUCK!)

Yeah. I'm such a fricking hussler. Outwitted by a spotty youth. I think we got a good deal, but how can I be sure?

Ah. Who cares? I now have my minivan, and another American Dream is fulfilled....


BlogWhore said...


congrats on the new van.

i couldn't do it. instead, we bought a cross-over which is a fancy word for smaller, lower-to-the-ground van.

Redneck Mommy said...

Well done.

I miss my old van. She was a beauty. I named her Lucy after the lady who taught me how to drive. Sadly, when her engine fell out after only a 100 000 kms, my husband said she had to go.

I traded her in for my very cool station wagon, named Stella.

But I still miss Lucy.

(And yes, I am one of THOSE people who name their vehicles.)

slouching mom said...

Hey! What a coincidence. Last Saturday we got a new (to us) Forester, 2005, with only 19K on it.

And did I mention it's red?

I'm in love. As I expect you are.

Tuesday Girl said...

my blood pressure jsut went up 100 points jsut reading that.
I HATE buying cars, I hate that I know I am getting ripped off and I hate the sleazy people I have to do it with.

Marmite Breath said...

The words Spotty Youth make me think of my favourite character, Adrian Mole.

Congrats on the van, by the way!

flutter said...

Tell me what you bought it for, I can look up invoice on it and tell you how you did :) we accountants in the car industry are handy like that

Mary G said...

Uh huh. My husband also cringes when they agree before he has stamped out of the showroom in a huff. Figures he didn't lowball enough.
Vans are heaven with small kids. Here's wishing you many miles (kilometres when you hit the border) of enjoyment.

wordgirl said...

Good for you! Just hope it doesn't have those ballooney tires.

mo-wo said...

I try to take you as my inspiration while I tolerate my minivan.

But still I must admit.. I have had occasion to exhaust the entire supply of cupholders, which as you know is considerable in quantiy. So we must, actually, be made for each other.

Blog Antagonist said...

I'm not ashamed to admit that I love my van. Love it. I drove around in a two door sports coupe until my second was born and it was just awful. I like SPACE. And in a van, I can feel morally superior to the SUV drivers who are contributing to the degradation of our environment with their gas guzzling. Hey, it's something.

Oh, The Joys said...

I have minivan envy.

Her Bad Mother said...

I would KILL for a minivan. Really. TWO minivans, even. Because the husband's swish little Saab is, um, LITTLE and can't hold much more than a diaper bag. So there you have it. If I could be, I'd be the ugliest American, EVER.

doow said...

According to your written report, you've left your younger son at the dealership. Was he used for part-exchange?

Fairly Odd Mother said...

Welcome to minivan-land. I swore I'd NEVER, but here I am, a lover of my Quest. You'll soon wonder how you ever fit into a smaller car.

Gunfighter said...


When I bought my last car (nearly four years ago) I had a similar negotiating tactic:

Dealer: That'll be $$$$$

GF: I'm not paying more than $$$

Dealer: OK

GF: (thinking) Fuck!

mothergoosemouse said...

Car dealerships give me the creeps. You did better than I would have.