Slouching Mom has tagged me for this meme: "What five goals have you largely ignored?"
Allow me to rephrase that:
"So, Joy, what keeps you awake at night? Are you happy? Do you consider yourself a fulfilled person? How do you fail on a monthly, weekly, nay, daily basis? Do tell"
Thanks for the mindfuck, SM.
UH. TOTALLY. (heh)
I should state up front that there is no goal that I have largely ignored as much as Done Nothing About It Whatsoever (Except to Fret Over Having Done Nothing About it Whatsoever).
Goal 1: Lose twenty pounds by summer.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH. (wipes tears).
Remember earlier in the year, when I was all, like, "here's a post where I casually reference that I am going to the gym! Hey! And here's another one! I am SOOOO energetic and crazy fit! Whoop-de-whoooo! GOODBYE PREGNANCY POUNDS!!!"
So. I've not been the the gym in about 5 weeks, and the fleshly hula-hula skirt is still a swingin'. Oh. And I might be the only postpartum woman alive who actually loses the weight after 10 weeks, and then slowly but surely piles it back on again. And surely the milk-bag titties only account for 10lbs (each) of that weight???? Right????
I also have several false starts in sparkpeople.com where I obsess over their calorie counter. I became QUEEN of the calorie counter. For a week. And then comes the weekend of binge eating and (cough) drinking, and uh, who wants to actually write that stuff down and see it all in print, y'know? So, uh, let's forgeddaboutit. Forever.
This week is the week though. I have roped in a friend, and we're having weekly weigh ins. We are both horribly shallow and unmotivated, and so need some sort of accountability--i.e. Monday Morning Email of Shame. To use her phrase. "I've got to do something. My stomach is trying to reach out and touch someone.." It's trying to reach out and touch mine, Jen. In fact. I think they were making out on Saturday night. (How was it for you?)
And for the record. I am not a freak about this. I simply want to approximate 150lbs and have a size twelve fit comfortably. I also plan to keep enjoying my food with my accustomed gluttony, uh, I mean gusto. And no one is taking my wine. (Bitch).
I just think I could do without standing in the kitchen mindlessly chowing down the Boy's Easter basket. I mean, I have succumbed to binge-eating Brach's candy, forchrissakes. BRACHS!!! WHERE DID MY STANDARDS GO????
(for the record, Yanks. Your candy is for shit. There. I've said it.)
(OK. Except for Jelly Bellies)
(Oh. And Good N Plenty)
(Dove's not too bad either)
(Not that I eat those things)
Anyhooo. Moving on. I am supposed to do five. But I cannot sustain the freakish pace I've established for myself.
Part Deux tomorrow....