Find themselves googling search strings such as:
"nipples + itchy + searing pain + wimp" and (on a weekend) "thrush + homeopathic remedies"
Real Mothers closely examine the gruesome gallery of thrush nipple pictures available online and thereby stand for long periods in front of the bathroom mirror in vein attempt at visual self-diagnosis.
Real Mothers find themselves ransacking the cupboards for White Vinegar "they fucking knew they had..." for homeopathic remedy.
Real Mothers begin to fantasize about mystical healing powers of White Vinegar Boob Douche on a Sunday afternoon.
Real Mothers piss and moan about Nipple Itch and White Vinegar shortage to such excess that Male Partners are left with no choice but to go in search of Great White Vinegar, taking offspring along for the hunt.
Real Mothers, blogging about boob douches because, like, they haven't got anything better to do..
Part of the Real Mothers meme spawned by the evil Kristen at The Mom Trap--see the rules here and then break them, like me.