Because I'm a joiner you see. Yep. I'm blogging the bangs. Or "fringe" as the Enger-lish would say (and here is where I also see how much a yank I have become--it's taken 15 years, but I can refer to my "bangs" now with a complete lack of irony or snorting fit).
There's the "My Mummy cuts my fringe. And puts me in polyester" Bangs. (Circa 1974).
(And yes. This was just an opportunity for you to view a picture of me where, let's face it, I LOOK IMPOSSIBLY CUTE!)
There's "My Mummy does my Home Perm" Bangs.
(Circa 1986)
There's "Gollum Ate my Baby" Scraped Back Bangs.Circa 1995
(And yes. This was just an opportunity for you to view a picture of me, where, let's face it, I LOOK IMPOSSIBLY, IMPOSSIBLY...[your word choice here]).
Finally. "If I take my own picture with this digital camera I can suck in my cheeks to feign bone structure and tilt head to feign lack of several chins" Bangs.
Circa 2007.
27 comments:
YOU LOOK IMPOSSIBLY....
--- waiting until the medication kicks in ---
--- ah --- there we go ---
YOU LOOK IMPOSSIBLY SEXXXXYYY!
I don't have bone structure either. It's all in the camera angle.
That childhood picture of you is darling. That "Gollum Ate My Baby" one convinced me we would've gotten along famously in college.
And your title is even more fabulous than you intended, thanks to my memories of an Irish co-worker who was always messing up American colloquialisms, and my favorite instance was when she meant to say we should "gang up" on someone, but instead she said we should "gang bang" her.
I think you look impossibly stoned in the 1987 pix.
So here I was feeling out mellowed out and then jesus-h-fuckingchrist! I go to the next picture, at which time my poor son bursts into tears and runs away from the computer.
Taking a break from the impossible work schedule just to say you totally rock. "Gollum" had me spit out my ravioli all over my work.
The half-lidded eyes in the 1986 photo! How they make me laugh!
I never had bangs so can't contribute to this bangs love-fest, sadly.
These are photographic gems.
that first picture is imposibly cute and that third one is um..er...ah...really you?
Sadly, Lisa. Yes--it is definitely me. And I can do way way worse than that, Sister...;-)
Ah, the FEATHERED bang. Never did that one, sadly, because it's CLASSIC.
I wish I was a sculptor - because if I was, I'd make a little GingaGollum figurine and sit it by my computer, so I could stare at it all day.
As Joy's husband, which she can only verify (I am a bit of a J.D. Salinger when it comes to blogs ...) I can say that the scarey photo, which I titled "Joy as I Know and Love Her" is indeed she! I have a tryptic of the transformation ...
hee hee... VERY well feigned!
Now that I've seen the Gollum bangs I might have the nerve to do a similar bang post.
You are the bravest woman on the fringe, EVER. The Gollum photo is just the best. (or "bril" - or whatever you tea bags from over yonder say.)
I feel like you just bared your soul to us. I too would like that Gollum figurine on my desk. Maybe as a bobble-head.
oh.my.god
that is all. :)
Screw it -- if my two year old can do it, so can I -- props to you, sista, for putting that Gollum out there. You've got...um...ovaries.
"Gollum ate my baby"
*snort*
You are killin' me. Kitten, please.
That first photo of you is so, so, ADORABLE!! The Gollum one, not so much LOL
I really need to do some scanning and post my feathered bangs photos. And the ones with the spiral perm-yikes.
I looked at your profile picture where I can actually see you and you're purdy and have gorgy hair!!!
I read this last night and am STILL laughing over the "Gollum Ate My Baby" Scraped Back Bangs quip.
HA! Those are fantastic.
The only time I have had bangs as an adult was right after I watched Amelie whilst drinking and decided, boozily, that I'd look too, too cute with little french girl bangs. No, I looked too, too stupid. No photos exist.
I've seen pregnant bellies all over the 'sphere today with comments claiming, "you're soooo brave." Methinks it takes far more bravery to show the bangs than the stretch marks. At least it would for me. I have a home perm shot that makes yours look runway spec-tack-a-lack--lar.
I think the Gollum photo has a certain Quasimodo-esque feel to it as well.
Since I'm a first time visitor and don't want to be rude.. let me add to the above..
You have lovely hair, even with fringe and it's nice to find another blog with personality.
I've only been trying to comment on blogger blogs for like, ever and now that I'm here I have nothing wittier or more charming than what you've already done.
But the Gollum thing had me in stitches.
I think I lurve you, warts, bangs and all.
Love the pictures! You are braver than me!
Gotta love a hair retrospective. You look like a blast to hang out with!
now that I have outed myself . . . I don't have nearly the bang story except one of my first memories of teaching - at a junior high - was walking into the bathroom (hoping to God I wouldn't find anything I had to report to the administration) with a cloud of hairspray and girls with their heads hanging upside down so that they could spray their bangs literally straight up in the air . . . that is what comes to mind when I hear of bangs . . . and you've only seen my wind bangs :-)
so, the trick is sucking IN my cheeks? does that work for ass fat, too? (i think you look absolutely fabulous, darling... and i don't care who knows.)
hey, at least your Mummy cut your bangs straight. some day i'll share pictures of my own sad face fringe, which was clipped at a 20 degree angle from the left side of my head to my right (i'm sure she'd have done better if she had only bothered to set down her martini when in "bang cut" mode) xox
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