Yay! I've Been Bitchslapped By A Bratz Doll!

When the genteel ladies from this blog wrote to me and said "hey, would you let us review your site?" *I thought to myself "why not? sounds like a gasss." However. I voiced one request:

"if it is negative, then you must make it really really scathing and
vicious. go all out. why not?"

Well I am proud to report that those gals did not fail to deliver. I was their first review and they really let me have it!!! Here are some of the juicy gems from their review.

I couldn't wait to post our first review, thinking in my small and obviously mistaken mind that it would be a 10 out of 10 and all would be well in this world. I was wrong. Very wrong. [FYI: I got a tragic 2 out of 10!]
Oranges - who the heck wants to see oranges on someones blog? Unless you're living in Florida or are a tree grower in your previous life, ditch the oranges.
Then I get a little hope as I move on to the content. Its merely so-so with a little hint of excitement. Granted the woman just had a baby but can we please just add a little pizazz into the writing??
Now, I'm not a fan of overused sidebars, but this has nothing - nothing I say! Go ahead, show us your personality! Show us a button, a blinkie, anything!

Anyway, if you want to start your morning with a bit of a nasty sting to your cheek and a nice dose of low-self esteem (for 2 seconds) I definitely recommend submitting your site. I mean, after reading this, their first review, wouldn't people be just gagging to say "me next, pur-leeeeeease!" Clever move on their parts, don't you think?
*(And yes. I am a complete moron for getting sucked in on this one in the first place. Serves my validation-seeking ass right, I know)


Her Bad Mother said...

As I said in my e-mail to you, it's a bit odd that they would troll blogs - saying things like LOVE YOUR BLOG, WOULD LOVE TO REVIEW IT - and then write a review that expresses surprise that the blog is disappointing. Then again, should anyone be shocked that a Bratz Doll is disingenuous? What-EVAH.

(Note that I do not think that it needs to be said that you and your awesome blog ROCK. And it just wouldn't be the same without the oranges.)

themikestand said...

I think the fair ladies at reviewmyblog mistook "review" for "bash". But seriously, who cares.

We'll see what they do with mine ;)

Sexy Simone said...

Ah, I feel the love :-)

Well let me clarify for you - I was not aware that the blog was "trolling" for recruits, but saying that I can understand. You have to get "business" somewhere.

Also, this post was extremely funny, and if I had read something that made me laugh out loud like this I would've give you a higher grade - really.

Elizabeth said...

They're just mad because they don't know what "pith" means. It's not the oranges, it's not the sidebar, there is nothing wrong with your blog. You write it for yourself, right? They base their "review" on reading a few posts, with no idea who you are as a person. Don't give it another thought. You rock, and you know it.

Woman with kids said...

Ouch. I say you take some of your pithy orange peel and chuck it at them.

BlogWhore said...

i am soo glad that I read this post before i aimlessly clicked on that link and became their next victim.

it's just some shock-and-awe to gain attention.

i like what u do here... it appeals to me.

SUEB0B said...

It's not how it looks.

It's not what is on it.

It is HOW you say it that lets your lovely personality shine thru, that's my opinion.

DD said...

I'm feeling rather special myself right now because I received the same obligatory "Interesting site..., blah, blah, blah". And even though they probably threw that comment down hundreds of times, to know that I'm in the same league (relatively speakng) as you and Her Bad Mother, well, that's just good enough for me.

And if they want blinkies and "cool" graphics, they need to go to MySpace.com. and review all the 12 and 13 year olds' sites. It's enough to enduce a seizure.

Oh, The Joys said...

They are simply too stupid to understand the oranges. The oranges make me think, in the simplest way, that you must have very gingery hair.

Don't change a thing, sister.

Country Mouse said...

"I'm feeling rather special myself right now because I received the same obligatory "Interesting site..., blah, blah, blah"."

You know, DD, until I read your comment I didn't realize it, but I'm not sure I didn't receive such a comment. Akismet flagged it as spam, though, and since the comment showed no signs of there being a person who had actually looked at my site and written that comment, I didn't de-flag it.

Ginga, I don't think I've commented here before, but I've been reading for quite some time. Your blog didn't reach right out and grab me when I first looked, but it's grown on me over time. I quite enjoy your dry wit, which I suspect most people would miss on their first glance over your front page — I know I did, but something made me peek in from time to time until I made this a regular read. Cheers.

Lisa b said...

I quite like the oranges and that review was crap. Not funny, not useful tips, not even well written.

Mom101 said...

Comedy is hard and I think that review just proved it a million times over. Either do a serious review or be so irreverent and hilarious that I forgive the snark. I mean oranges? That's the best they got? Feh.

mad muthas said...

what a pair of dopey tarts! i was marvelling at the wit and freshness of your bog AND posts. it's as if they're talking about a completely different undertaking!
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