hmmm... how to convey to blog-world sitting on one's ass and idly twiddling thumbs...

I have some posts a-brewing, one that I am putting off rather a lot because it relates to my upcoming road trip this weekend with my oldest and dearest friend, who is being insensitive enough to achieve the holy grail of the tenure-track job and so leave me and so move to another state... More on that, and the fact that I am using excuse of "helping her move" to lay some serious passive-aggressive shit on her, tomorrow.

Hmmmm. What else??? Ah yes. Coming up--mine and Husband's tenth wedding anniversary... Holy-mother-of-god-how-did-that-happen?
And what are we doing to celebrate? Here are some of the options we have been weighing:

--Trip to Paris? The exchange rate for Dollars to Euros is WHA???
--Minivan? I shit you not--I think I might be only woman in town who both hearts Elliot Smith and secretly yearns for the plush and spacious comfort of a minivan. But as an anniversary gift. Well, it kind of sinks to an all time low.
--Fine Jewelry? For the price of this ring we could buy a Plazma TV!
--A piece of Art? That would be nice, but plazma tvs take up a nice patch of wallspace. And you can do slideshows on it. Of art.
--Plazma TV?? NOW we're talkin'!

Actually, we have done our homework, and we're getting an LCD one. With Home Theater system. Nothing says "I have so cherished these ten years with you by my side" than A Big Fuck Off Television...
Actually, for us, it's really quite an appropriate metaphor, as me and the Old Man likes a bit a'telly... Right in the living room. None of this separate-out-of-sight television room shit for us--Yes, this is our graciously appointed living room, and that monstrosity in the corner is the idol at which we worship. Besides, there's nothing like a comfy sofa, a roaring wood fire and...television.

(And anyone concerned over the lack of romance in my life, do not afear. Old Man is actually quite the romantic sort, and I am sure he has babysitter lined up, dinner-reservations fresh flowers on order, and a box of those chocolates from Fanny May that I love and no he can't have any, well ok, one... ALL IN THE WORKS)

Oh, all right. I'll book the sitter. (sigh)

What else to write?
Anyone want to interview me for BlogHer? Oh, hang on. I'm not going. Is it me, or is this a weird week in the lady-blogosphere for anyone not going? Is this what being Jewish at Christmas is like? Interesting...

Yes, I'd love to be there. But I am of the boozy sort. Especially when it comes to meeting a ton of strangers-but-not-strangers-really at a conference. And while I am pretty extrovert sans a gallon of wine, BlogHer would definitely bring out the boozehound in me and me being in my delicate state would put the kabash on that.

Yes, that's right. I have just used "not being able to drink" as an excuse to not attend what looks like an amazing opportunity to meet some of my favorite writers. And if you think there is a disturbing alcoholic theme emerging in my posts, well what of it??

Seriously, if I am still kicking this blog-thing around in a year's time, then I am going to make the pilgrimage. I might even be able to translate it into some kind of work-related trip me being such a "digital technology academic expert" and all (snort). I'll be the one pumping-and-dumping.

I will leave you with that attractive image as I say to all those who are going--PICTURES. WE WANT PICTURES. AND POSTS. WE WANT LIVE-BLOGHER POSTS.


DD said...

...and I thought I was the only one NOT going to blogher. At least you have a good excuse as I'm the same way when it comes to virtual strangers.

Mother said...

Paris. I vote Paris!!

MrsFortune said...

Oh, I love our huge TV. And we've only been married 2 years.

The Jewish on Christmas thing is a perfect metaphor for those of us not going to blogher! I think we should all start interviewing eachother. What say you?

Mom101 said...

I've got the lcd (better than plasma because video games burn into a plasma screen) and I'd still take Paris.

It is a weird week - all blogHer, all the time. Advanced apologies. I think my live blogging starts tomorrow. Even got a new camera just for you!

Joel said...

I for one think the Big Fuck Off Television... is the perfect gift for any occasion including a 10th anniversary...oh, congratulations by the way. For better or worse, richer or poorer, Neva and I have fashioned our lives around the tube and done quite well for 21 years thank you very much! Can't comment on Blogher cause I'm not a her...not sure when the next bloghim affair will take place...actually not sure such an animal exist...oh well...I think being a male blogger must be similar to being a male nurse...people kinda look at you funny.

OddMix said...

I'm with Joel. But only at 15 years.

themikestand said...

It's a weird time for the blogosphere in general, not just if aren't attending BlogHer (I'm holding out for BlogHe, personally.)

And make sure that when you get a van, you get one with the LCD Television and DVD combo. And a bumper sticker that says,

"If the van's a-rockin'
we must be watching The Wiggles"

sunshine scribe said...

I vote Paris too!!

We have a big TV and it's waaay over-rated

neva said...

well... as an early anniversary gift, Joel's visiting all my favorite blogs and/or commenting *for* me! (is he a great guy, or what?)

i'm not bitter about missing Blogher at all. i'm sure it's boring and/or tedious and/or all those wonderfully animated blogHERS are, in fact, robots. robots programmed to write funny/clever/dynamic shit just to make people like me look/feel worse about myself than i already do. nope. not bitter at all.

next year, i'll meet you there. i'll happily sit with you and watch while you pour gallons of wine down your throat, (i don't drink--and when you see how i act without booze, you'll understand why!) and tell you a bunch of really stupid jokes so we can laugh and laugh and laugh! it'll be a blast!!

ENJOY that TV!! (i know we do!) and HAPPY 10th!! XOX

Mommy off the Record said...

Oh, are people doing live blogger posts? Is that why everyone is dragging their laptops there? I thought it was a joke. he he. Bloggers must keep blogging, I guess, even when at a bloggers conference!

Congrats on your upcoming 10 year anniversary. Paris would be great, but oh, that TV sounds so very tempting too. Good luck deciding!

lildb said...

mmmm... there's nothing so sexxxy as a giant, flat-screen television.

blogher shmogher. sigh.

Jenny said...

I vote plazma tv. Huuuuuuuge plazma tv.

Her Bad Mother said...

As it happens, the ability to hold one's liquor was not a pre-req for full participation.

Or maybe I was too drunk to notice.


mothergoosemouse said...

Would have loved for you to have been there. Free wine. In 12 oz. plastic cups. The epitome of class, I'll tell you.

Kyle had been lobbying for YEARS for a plasma TV. When we moved here, we did it - but LCD, like you said. And surround sound. The whole bit. I don't watch much, but I have to admit that I love it.

And the Jew on Christmas analogy has got me singing that song from South Park in my head now. Thanks.

Mega Mom said...

Pilgrimage? It is in Chicago for F#$%'s sake! Next year we're doing it up right!

Freakin' minivans...how did we get here?!?!

Hope you are feeling well and have a lovely anniversary (with a new phat ass TV).

Anonymous said...

What a great site Humiliating anal Simpsom porn comics Naked wemen butts Children + toys

Anonymous said...

Wonderful and informative web site. I used information from that site its great. topamax uses side effects brevard county tennis Nova scotias national hockey team jersey colors wild milf Big muscle dicks Brazos county dwi attorney Vacuum cleaners dyson vacuum parts