our ecumenical weekend

It's Monday morning, and I am eyeing the lurid colored eggs that are nestled in my lunchbox and wondering if it's too early to plough into lunch. For some reason hard boiled eggs are hitting the spot right now in this somewhat nauseous journey of the first trimester. What good timing! Our fridge is now crammed with the things (next to the lard). Enough for the whole week! And my coworkers get to enjoy the sulphurous fumes as I peel the buggers and eat 'em whole.
(but not before dabbing them liberally into the ziplock of salt I so cleverly have stored in my desk draw).

It was definitely an interesting weekend. A veritable smorisborg of pagan/jewish/christian ritualistic tradition, where Elijah got down with the Easter Bunny, and the Wise Child got hopped up on Cheeps. Saturday night we went over to our neighbors' for their yearly Passover tradition (sensibly downloaded from the internet as the 30 minute Seder--5 kids under 6. Enough said). The ritual begins with a caveat from our hosts--that this tradition is approached with irony and a certain degree of irreverence. Despite the caveat, there's a whole lot of hebrew being spoken from memory (very impressive to goyim like me) and we do make it through the meat and potatoes of the ritual, and the story does get retold with respect.

Eventually. Interspersed with "Hey, Elijah drank my wine!" and "The Ten Commandments was deeply homoerotic, y'know." "That was Spartacus, dumbass!" and "By now we are on the fourth glass of wine..Drink Up!" Oh, and halfway through the eating of the bitter herbs, I had to hightail it to the backyard to rehide all the easter eggs my three year old had prematurely hunted and brought to me for safety (asking me to keep all 30 eggs safe from the other children). Towards the end of the evening, the addition of the Harry Potter on t.v. meant that the Occult was also safely represented. It was a full and culturally rich evening. And I got to eat as many boiled eggs in saltwater as I wanted. With a spoon.

The next day, the Jews schlepp on over to our hourse, where"Easter" is represented. This definitely seems less a chance to celebrate the rich tradition of christian holiday than an opportunity to feed the hangover garnered from staying out late and drinking with Elijah. Ham on Matzo is food for the soul in that regard. Chocolate bunnies aren't bad either, apparently.

Of course, I wouldn't know, being knocked up and sensible and all THAT. So, to compensate I spent a good deal of my time goading our guests about how I was completely and utterly sober and hangover free, and how I am just so sad that people feel the need to indulge to such levels, especially during these family times. To which I was informed that I was "a Mean Non-Drunk..."

Screw them... (she said, bitterly)


zeldafitz said...

OK, the ONLY fun thing about preggo sobreity IS being able to lord your perfection over everyone. Bravo! Well done. Tell them they have 8 more months of sanctimony left!

Sniff...I know it's a poor consolation for not being able to over-indulge in the Manischeivitz (sp???I'm Catholic. I only know how to spell Mondavi!)

Kristen said...

That was thoroughly enjoyable, however the thought of eating boiled eggs nearly made me puke. Maybe I'm preggo. (or not).

And, I can't say I miss the sobriety of pregnancy. Mainly because you realize how crazy people are around you. When I'm drunk, everyone looks normal. Scary.

Mega Mom said...

I can totally picture you as a mean non-drunk.

I'm so with you on the eggs :))

doow said...

Not only are you sober and hangover-free, you're also growing a tiny little person - which, let's face it, trumps being able to drink any day of the week.

Jess Riley said...

Hey, I'm with you on the hard-boiled eggs. I had two in the last 20 hours. Both doused with salt AND pepper.

(mean non-drunk...haha!)

Mocha said...

What culture I find each time I visit. I'm impressed. Amazingly so.

I forgot to answer you on the hand-coding thing: cool beans mama says to sign up free with www.blogrolling.com. Mine is started, but there's a whole slew of stuff to go through and I didn't finish yet. But I will.

As always, a post that makes me go, "Aha. I've found a true gem."

Joel said...

Love your holiday tradition...the blending of the two is inspired! Never been a huge boiled egg fan although deviled eggs were a childhood favorite.

sweatpantsmoms said...

I beg you to try one of those boiled eggs dipped in soy sauce. You won't regret it.

sunshine scribe said...

Can't say I'm with ya on the egg thing but I too was a mean-sober-preggo. It just ain't fair :)

neva said...

i've never been accused of being a mean non-drunk (bitter, sure, but never mean!) my biggest sacrifice during pregnancy was giving up caffeine...

i'm with ya on those hard-boiled eggs, too... only i like 'em mashed up and mixed with miracle whip (not mayo and not lard--tee hee).... egg salad mmmmm!

i lovelovelove reading about your blended holiday experience--it's so cool that you could share/swap traditions with your friends (re-hiding eggs, notwithstanding) : D

weaker vessel said...

Sorry bout that, sistah-friend. Isn't moderate consumption safe in the later trimesters, though?

Also, if you ever take a crack at producing the Great Anglo-American Novel, please begin it with '"Screw them..." she said bitterly.'

ozma said...


I made up some ecumenical songs for my husband's benefit like "Here comes Peter Cotton Tail, Hoppin' down the bunny trail, hippity, hoppity, hippity hoppity, Passover's on its way"

And "On The First Day of Hannukah my Bubbe said to me, 'You can't have a Christmas tree.'"

I tried to convince him we really ARE raising our kid Jewish even though she goes to my parent's house to celebrate Christmas--all we have to do is tell her it's really Halloween. It worked last time, at least, when she was still only 1. I'm not sure what we'll do this year.

I too am a totally mean non-drunk and unfortunately I'm not drunk most of the time.

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