let me tell you why i hate sting

yes. i hate sting. and it's not just because of the Ten Summoner's Tales. (though, let's face it. this is crime enough*).

no. one main reason i positively loathe sting is because he is among that breed of insufferable "rock stars" who use their fame as a platform to be complete sanctimonious arseholes. even bob geldof, who i do happen to like, and who I do happen to think might do some good in this world, decided to include only western (uh, "global,') performers in the Live 8 gig (you remember-- intended to raise global public awareness of the challenges confronting Africa?) according to sir bob, this was because the event needed bands that triggered global recognition.

uhm, let me see. is there any correlation (per chance) that there is some kind of connection here between a need to raise awareness about some of the oppressive factors of globalization and a general lack of global cultural visibility? but i digress...

anyway. back to sting (and he was there headlining it up at Live 8, of course). in this case, my dislike runs to a much more specific incident than that.... sting messed with my family.

a few years ago, my younger brother worked at this place as the head waiter. it might not have been his dream job, but he he also had a healthy sense of pride about his work and approached his work with professionalism. (hence the fact that he was head waiter at a rather posh hotel).

so, sting comes into the restaurant, along with a gaggle of his "people" and my brother asks:

"Can I take your coat, sir?"

and sting replies, "I don't know CAN you?"

["yes, DICK. he can and may..."]

now remember, the-sting-formerly-known-as-gordon-sumner was a secondary school english teacher before being propelled to fame with roxanne. well guess what, sting, me too (well, except for the roxanne part) and does this give me carte-blanche to correct the grammar of the "underclass" with every breath i take?

no, it does not.

actually, the grammatical correction was lost on my brother, who just thought (quite rightly) that this git was just making a sarcastic comment over this here waiter's ability to actually take his coat. (i don't know, can you?)

so, there it is. sting is a classist, hyprocritical knob-shite who has the audacity to proclaim it his goal in life to help the poor and underrepresented. and the rain forests.

anyway, let me close this post by inviting you to check this classic piece by ricky gervais, who effectively lampoons the whole sting/bob/bono ethos with this piece where he we see him "do his bit for charity" as a famous celebrity.

yes, it's cringeworthy, but give me a bit of satire any day...

[*let me go on the record as a Police lover, and a Sting loather]


Mom101 said...

I think singers should all take Brittany's lead and just promote McDonalds.

themikestand said...

I have a feeling that Sir Bob chose western ("global") bands because it's the "rest of the globe" who really needs to pay some f*cking attention to the issues. I won't go on about that. Also, I didn't rtfa, so maybe I'm out of line with that comment.

Nice Ricky Gervais clip, though. Great comedy man, that Rick. I'm appalled however at his insistence to charge £6.95 for his next round of podcasts, wherein he claims he's raising money for Karl Pilkington, when the last 8 of 12 podcasts he did included adverts for BBC television. Hypocrites. :P

gingajoy said...

mike--there's definitely a solid argument to be made there. i preferred instead, to set bob up as a strawman for my "i hate sting" bit. (although i do ultimately think the exlusion was a crock, especially as some lesser known white boys from the USA joined in the fun).

yeah, ricky's in it for the money. and i bear no illusions about his ethical motives. also bummed about the podcasts.

debbie said...

ha! what a dick move! i would hate to have to deal to with celebs like that. your brother must have infinite patience. heh. oh, and i think i detest bono as much you as hate sting. fucking "bono vox"?? am i the only one who remembers how shitty he sounded on the MTV special that showed the making of the BandAid record?? heh. god, i remember the most inane shit.

Paco said...

Knowing that Sting doesn't bathe regularly as part of his whole microbiotic thing, perhaps he was asking your brother whether he could stand to take the coat. Stink, not Sting. On a lighter note, I met Mr. Rogers in a hotel lobby once back in the early 90s. He was so coked up! He kept licking this young girl he was with and saying "meow meow, Rex Owl wants Henrietta, meow meow."

weaker vessel said...

Okay, whew, glad I saw that disclaimer at the end, because although I hate his adult-soft-rock incarnation, I have such a soft spot for his Police stuff, especially, lately, Synchronicity.

I do hate that whole we-own-and-operate-the-preferred-salon-of-European-sophisticates thing that he and Trudie have going on.

mr paco said...

Even Sting and the police are endlessly preferable to the sycophantic quasi-intellectual strides of groups like "belle and sebastian" whose attempts to make music put me in mind of steve martin's mock lyrics that begin "be lovely and kind and three dimensional ..."

puppytoes said...

i'd like to think sting was just making a little joke. a funny little joke. ha ha?

lovelovelove the link to ricky gervais...because i lovelovelove ricky gervais!!! thank you!! (i always have fun when i come to visit you!) : D

The Sheriff said...

I can't stand Sting myself mainly for him whoring Jaguar cars. And the fact his an insipid little twat who forgets he's from the North East of England.

ozma said...

I forgot about Sting for many years and only remember that I often did not like the people that liked Sting so for this reason I tended to suspect Sting...of something, I wasn't sure what, just some ick.


(There was this thing that if you were a true punk you could not like The Police and even though I was hardly a true punk and am so far from punkhood now that it isn't even funny, my identity still requires that I like neither The Police nor Sting.)

Anonymous said...

i don't care about his self serving politics, i just think he SUCKS as a singer. i always despised "the police" and whenever my favorite rock radio station plays the mofos, i have to turn the volume off. he's a lousy singer and the songs he performed with and w/o "the police" all SUCK in my opinion.

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Anonymous said...

Sting is unfathomably irritating.

A campaign to turn him into Nick Nolte before it's too late is afoot.

Please check out www.stingfornolte.com and spread the word

nicola said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

I hate sting too, this is why we started a campaign against the man with the liute, join the campaign.


thank you.

Anonymous said...

I feel I've arrived home. Its great to hear such loathing for Sting. I never thought about him before. A friend of mine has a passion for loathing Sting which I never really considered, but now I've joined this camp because I cannot download the Stewart Copeland Derangement Remixes because STING has stung my ass and not let Stewart do anything with these amazing remixes he's created (of Police songs). I heard them from the iTunes radio show Six Degrees Traveller (highly recommended for downbeat and world music, i think its in the electronic or experimental categories). Anyway, these remixes by Copeland are outstanding, mixing live stuff, recorded stuff, different people singing them etc. They're really great. I've got two of them on an album from Six Degrees Records but it seems that any site that had a link to listen to them has had to remove them.
I don't know, maybe Copeland and his record company are responsible for that but it still doesn't take away from the rumour that Sting didn't like these remixes and didn't want them featured on any new Police CD. He also won't share the rights to the songs for Copeland to release a CD of them (greed greed greed over music).
But then Sting never had much music taste. Everything since the Police has been a big bag of shite, shit like Desert Rose- pass the sick bucket please! How Naff is that music - you can get better manufactured pop, try his friend BITCH-FROM-HELL Madonna, even her songs are better! But his crap music is easily explained by his life since the police, living in his ivory tower. Copeland however, seems like he's still with the times. On hearing his derangement remixes I realised this and, lets face it, the Police songs wouldn't have been so successful if they didn't have Copelands rhythms. The Reggae influence hit the right nerve at the time.
I'm so pissed of with Sting. What a first rate wanker. Can I say that? Yes I MAY! total tosser, typical school teacher mentality - small minded, aloof and a control freak.
I hate you Sting. For the love of music, LIGHTEN UP and SHARE. Without Copeland you wouldn't have made it with the Police. You certainly wouldn't have made it on your own and without the people who bought your records you wouldn't have made a penny and still be on your shitty teacher salary. Ever thought they might wanna hear the derangement remixes or are you just too pig-headed to admit that something Copeland has done is outstanding? As above, sting is still a very small teacher in a tiny little town.

coopersonic said...

sting where is thy death?

Ken Field said...

Thank You ALL...I never had been able figure out what it was,,,Y'all have brought it out..and then some..Thank You..Kenny9Toes

AnnoyingTruth said...

This site is pretty hilarious as none of you know Sting and are running around all boo hoo and we 'hate' him based on gossip and other jealous BS .. the deal is with Sting he doesn't 'suffer fools gladly'.. look it up.. and yes my partner and I have worked with him and know him well.. he's kind, funny, and overall just a really nice guy